A powerful memoir on womanhood by RNZ presenter Susie Ferguson

Early in her radio career Susie Ferguson became a war correspondent. The only woman among hundreds of soldiers, in camo and a flak jacket she was one of the boys. None of them knew she was taking 15 painkillers a day, reliant on opioids to stem the burning and stabbing pain in her uterus.

Even bloody-minded grit couldn't have prepared Susie for womanhood. More than her body's betrayal, it's the vicious bullying only girls can do. It's waiting years for surgery because your pain doesn't matter. It's the threat of violence in countries where a woman is either property or the spoils of war. It's going overnight from a high-powered career to a stay-at-home mum. It's the doctor who says you're wasting his time. But it is also friendship, love, having the grit to carry on - and to do it smiling.

A breathtaking memoir on tenacity and self-belief, sharing her story of endometriosis, miscarriage, childbirth, and menopause, Susie shines a light on a health system that isn't made for us, and the importance of being loud with our truths.