C S Lewis famously said, “We read to know that we are not alone.” To see and hear aspects of your life experience reflected in the arts can be immensely validating. The arts provide a window into cultural and social conditions; they reflect and illuminate the extent of human experience. 

Alternative families no longer make up a small minority on the fringes of society but are a rapidly growing demographic. This led editor Jenny Purchase to consider putting together an anthology that creatively explored the topic of solo parenting. RERE TAKITAHI FLYING SOLO is the result, published July 2024 and including an introduction by Professor Paul Spoonley. The book explores the lived experience of an often neglected and misunderstood sector of society, focusing attention on aspects of their lives that will resonate with readers.

Here’s what Jenny has to say about the anthology:

In 1998, I arrived in Aotearoa with three young children and four suitcases, a solo mother fleeing a traumatic past and seeking a brighter future for my young family. Later, I parented my children with a partner who was not their biological father. Navigating these experiences alongside my career as an educator fed into my own work as a creative writer.

Discussions with writer friends encouraged me to explore creating this book. Even though some of us had single parenthood or alternative families in common, our experiences differed widely in their specifics. Early last year, Angela (AJ Woolf), also formerly a solo parent, came on board as fellow editor, and we decided to create Olearia Press to produce the book.

‘We grew up feeling like we were allowed to be open and cry to him, and sometimes he cried to us.’
- Lyric Waiwiri-Smith, an ode to a dedicated solo dad from his daughter

Fifty New Zealand writers are included in the anthology, having contributed short and micro fiction, poetry, essay, memoir, and reportage on the topic. Well-known writers Renée, Fiona Farrell, Alice Tawhai, David Hill, J C Sturm, Maxine Alterio, Sandra Arnold, Dominic Hoey, Katherine Mansfield, Michael Botur, Joanna Kidman, Mike Johnson, Siobhan Harvey, Whiti Hereaka, Robin Hyde, Jillian Sullivan, Katy Soljak, and Airana Ngarewa are included, as are many new and emerging voices. The anthology reflects the diversity of our society with writing from different demographics and ethnicities.

Rere Takitahi/Flying Solo includes social histories, personal reflections, intergenerational testimonies, fictional interpretations, and poetic treatments of the topic, while also considering how Aotearoa/New Zealand’s political leadership and the state of the economy directly impact alternative families. 

‘The pool was shut.
The day is wrong.
The permission slip
unsigned on the 
kitchen bench.’ 

-Katrina Larsen

Stories of individuals who have created their own unique family structures are within the pages, from deserted young mothers battling a prejudiced society or supporting, on their own, differently-abled children, to fathers who have been virtually erased from their children’s lives, or been forced into earning illicit income to better support their offspring; from damaged families who are battling to survive in a failing, apocalyptic world, to grandparents or random members of society who fill in as surrogate caregivers for children who are not being adequately nurtured in their home environments. We discover that even when both parents are present in their children’s lives, their worldviews are sometimes so divergent, the situation is untenable. We also bear witness to the stigmatisation and discrimination that often result when lived experience differs from the norm and does not conform to preconceived imperatives.

But we also discover that reconfigured families, families that invent themselves, can be as successful and enduring as traditional families, because family is not determined by government statistics, societal expectations, marriage certificates or partnerships, divorce documents, genetic imperatives, or living arrangements. Families are made in the heart, as much as in the world.